The Malaysian Pulse
Beat of the Nation
Fri, 18 Oct 2019, 5:11 AM
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WARNING: If you do not know what "satire" means, please stop reading immediately!
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Umno Open To Dropping Unity Govt Plans In Exchange For Treasury Access
PUTRAJAYA: In a magnanimous gesture, sources close to former Umno vice-president Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Hussein said they would consider abandoning efforts to break up the Pakatan coalition and form...
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Hundreds Attend Candlelit Vigil For Nation’s Property Developers
KUALA LUMPUR: In a solemn candelit vigil, hundreds of Klang Valley residents gathered in Mont Kiara last night to pray for the nation’s overextended property developers.
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Noting LTTE Threat M’sian IS Recruits Fearful Of Returning Home
DAMASCUS: Learning of the clear and present danger LTTE poses in the country, recently liberated Malaysian IS recruits in Syria are reconsidering their plans to return home.
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Ex-IGP Musa Hassan Removed From CIA Watchlist
LANGLY: In an official statement, Malaysian former Inspector-General of Police Tan Sri Musa Hassan was cleared of all suspected involvement in ongoing CIA cases today.
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Christy Ng Launches Athletic Shoe So New Mums Can Run Back To Work
PETALING JAYA: Successful shoe entrepreneur Christy Ng has launched a new range of sexy pumps with special athletic non-slip soles allowing working women who’d just given birth to run back to their...
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Foodpanda MD Learns He Will Be Paid On Casual Basis
KUALA LUMPUR: Foodpanda’s German parent company has announced it will be putting the head of its Malaysian Foodpanda operation on casual hours, Managing Director Sayantan Das was told today.
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Like Dr M, Rambo Says Last Blood Means He Will Retire In 3 Years
HOLLYWOOD: Despite Lionsgate movie executives urging him to retire, elderly Vietnam War veteran John Rambo like others who were big in the 80’s, says he will stay on for three more years.
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Other Races Arrange Emergency Dignity Airdrop
NATION: With their countrymen and women in need, today Malaysia’s other races took time out from living their own lives to arrange an emergency dignity airdrop.
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China Tourists Cancel M’sian Holidays Because They’d Rather Smoke Their Own Brand
NATION: Hit by China tour group cancellations, Malaysia’s tourism industry is reeling this week, as mainland China tourists opt to stay home to smoke their own preferred brand of toxic haze.
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Singaporeans Buy All iPhone 11 Stocks Then Immediately Form Queue For iPhone 12
SINGAPORE:  Hours after the last iPhone 11, 11Pro and 11Pro Max units were snapped up by eager Singaporean Apple fans on Friday, a new line for the yet to be announced iPhone12 immediately formed in ...
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Malaysian Censors Agree To Release Hustlers As 12 Minute Short Film
KUALA LUMPUR:  Today the Malaysian Censorship Board reversed a decision to halt the release of the hit American film ‘Hustlers’ by permitting a 12-minute edit of the movie to be released in theat...
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Youth Minister Hosts Dinner For Haze
KUALA LUMPUR: Reversing an earlier statement that unhealthy clouds should disperse, last night Youth and Sports Minister Syed Saddiq Syed Abdul Rahman adopted a more conciliatory tone by removing ...
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Surgeons Successfully Retrieve Sabah Politicians From Anwar’s Rectum
KOTA BELUD: After a 4-hour procedure, doctors say they have successfully removed several United Sabah Bajau Organisation (Usbo) politicians deeply lodged in PKR president Anwar Ibrahim’s back pas...
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